Brain Pain

Well, I now know for certain that I know nothing about the brain. Not that I thought I was an expert, but this news today really solidified the fact that I need help/support in this whole mTBI (mild traumatic brain injury) that my G is healing from.

I had two appointments today for my son, and those lead to the necessity for some follow up with a neurologist. I know nothing. But what I do know is that these symptoms are getting worse....and ironically it is NOT all in his head, or maybe that is exactly what it is.

My boy is suffering terribly.
My fears are real and they are validated today.
He is getting worse.
And we do not know what to do.

He is a fighter, I am a fighter.
His counselor (at school) complimented that I am a great advocate for my son. He can see that I am a fighter, and that while G is not able to win this battle alone, he will win the war with great people at the helm.

I have asked about the support groups and will try to go this month. Last Tuesday each month, I think (i write that as more of a reminder to me, note to self!)

I have taken the advice of the other specialist we saw today and have pushed to have an appointment next week, rather than May.
May is TOO FAR AWAY!
This has become urgent.

So....what seems impossible...healing and momentum on this journey of healing, with help and associates who understand and support...we are going to endure. This too will pass, it just feels really all up-hill at the moment.

Additional note to self: increased symptoms of memory loss, difficulty waking, severity of headaches increased, feelings of sadness and depression, sleeplessness (with the difficulty to awaken...random I know, like is said, none of it makes sense).
Yes...this all will surely pass at some point.

I think the harder part is just seeing the withering.
To have a child who once found academics EASY, all AP classes, very social and likable...become melancholy and despondent, unable to succeed in mainstream courses, ....it really is just sad.

As I said before it is like a getting to know the NEW you process. It's a pain, mainly for him and sorrow for me watching him struggle. Parents never want to see their children suffer, for so long...and so much.

Growth will come of this...growing pains they say. It is a long and patient process, and very difficult for people to understand. People can be so mean, and so judgmental.

It is hard to hear him talk about being made fun of in class, teased for being "stupid". Really people...this is HIGH SCHOOL...not Jr. High. Kids are so mean. I wish I could go with him everyday...teach those peers a lesson....but then he would be the mamma's boy.

Who cares....I am his mamma...and he is my boy.

Well this whole post is random....but I needed to write how I am feeling. In this real moment. NOW. Today.

i m possible? am i???